Saturday, May 23, 2009

Supermarket Rules

I went to the supermarket today like many in our town. We all have to eat and that is where we get food from. Sometimes , well most times it is like walking into a bloody "Valley Of The Damned" movie. I mean really we do it every week but still there are people in there that look as though they have just lost the will to live. Man I don't get it. ITS FOOD SHOPPING!!! I made the mistake of smiling at someone as i reached for a bottle of wine and the look I got as if I had just farted in their spacesuit. The isles are 10 feet wide , the trolleys 2 feet wide. Lots of room you would think. Then WHY do they stand on the left while they push there trolley out to the right and block all traffic and stand there thinking which thing to pick of the shelf??? Hm i mean really come on some self awareness and consideration for others around you. Yes sometimes when you are looking for something you need to stop but why stop with the trolley in the middle? And why do people go the wrong way around the shop? Its designed to be traveled in a certain direction not just any old way. You don't drive down the wrong side of a motorway do you?
The solution is a "Road Code" for supermarkets. And if you do not shop the right way you get fined or told to park you trolley and go to the naughty corner.
It would look something like this :

1-When entering shop a smile must be shown with in the first 30 seconds
2-The trolley must never be more than 18 inch's away from your belly button and always facing straight ahead
3-If stopping to check list one must first check that there is a parking space free other wise wave people past as quickly as possible
4-When entering a cross-section always give way to the right (left if in America) caring not to hold up traffic more than is necessary
5-When at the Deli or Meat counter wait your turn and be precise with your order get it and move away
6-Older people shop slower and must be given more room to stop and start. They've beenaround long enough and have earned that right
7-If you meet someone you know don't just stop and chat other people want to get home today
8-Last but not the least for god sake lighten up. Its shopping for the most important things we need and we do it every week .

I'm sure there are many other rules that could be added but its cold and I'm going to get by the fire goodbye

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Cold Mornings !

For 22 years I have worked the same job. Not bad for this day and age I hear. I love my job and all the benefits that come with it. 3 to 4 times a year I leap out of bed bouncing. Christmas day, 4.00am in the morning, wide awake, waiting for my partner to wake up to give her a present. My partner's and my own birthdays, yep wide awake and bouncing (both in winterish times of year). A trip away, early start to beat the traffic yep up and gone at sparrow's fart. THEN WHY OH WHY an everyday work day after 22 years of getting up at 6am (ish) i turn into this stroppy grumpy "don't touch me" "don't talk to me" "just don't want to get up" little boy who doesn't wake up until either the car heater starts to work or the coffee starts to kick in. Am I the only one with this sickness? Is there a pill I could take (legal) to make my mornings seem much less painful?